TSA and the Theater of the Absurd 1
There are a lot of people who get their feathers ruffled by the NY Times’ “attacks” on our public institutions. Sometimes they might even be justified. I’d have to think that this particular attack on the TSA ought to get some high praise. As I prepare to fly over the holidays, thoughts of the wondrous TSA continue to depress me (although I’m now inspired to get an business card that has my title as “Evildoer”).
I’m going to be flying alone with my son, so to prove I’m not a kidnapper, I need to be sure to have a notarized letter from his mother saying I’m allowed to leave the country with him. The notarized part really gets me, because the whole notary system depends on two things a) the verifier keeps a copy of the document with the notary’s seal, so that if necessary they can trace it back to the notary in question and check their log book and b) that there is an easy way to reverse the impact of a fraudulent seal once it is exposed. Neither a) or b) apply here, so I end up spending $15 so that someone who wants to kidnap my child has to spend $2 more. Brilliant.
There’s all these weird restrictions on liquids (3oz bottles that fit in 1 quart bag, and the bag needs to be zip top… are you kidding me?), but solid or gas form is apparently AOK. I’m thinking I’ll freeze whatever liquids I need to bring through and hope they don’t thaw out until I’m safely passed security.
Of course, there’s enough other exceptions to drive a truck through, so no need to bother with freezing things. With all these exceptions, one has to ask why bother with the restrictions at all? They seem more oriented around how much inconvenience they’d cause the passengers (and believe me I appreciate this, as I value such conveniences and I’m quite confident that I’m not up to anything nefarious on this trip) rather than any kind of security risk profile (this part I don’t like so much). So somehow water, apple juice, toothpaste or shampoo is a major security concern, but insulin, KY jelly, and bras filled out with gels or liquids are not.
The best one is the baby formula/milk/breast milk exemption. If you have a child with you, you can take as much of this stuff as you want. They promise they won’t test or taste it, or make you or your child test or taste it. So I gotta ask… is a guy traveling alone with a 12oz carton of what is claimed to be milk really more of a security threat than a baby with a 12oz baby bottle containing the same substance, particularly if the baby never drinks from it?
It’s been five years, and it still seems like these rules are set up by the Keystone Cops. The shocking thing is that it is not at all clear to me how we can stop this insanity. Any ideas?
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I gotta say, I’m way more entertained by the KY jelly exemption. I mean, what exactly was the discussion that led to that decision? And, are we allowed to carry other brands of lube, or just KY?
With respect to the rules on milk, it’s clearly been shaped by past incidents. The TSA got completely lambasted a couple years ago, when they were forcing women to drink their own breastmilk to prove it wasn’t really some chemical concoction.